we're blogging at a bar
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
