Someone shit on the floor
Its about making memories worth repressing
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
