I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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