just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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