He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
