I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
