Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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