"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
