so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
