i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
