i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You pole danced in your parka.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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