Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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