I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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