If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
