Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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