the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
