that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
