there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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