mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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