bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
