roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
