ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
