if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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