i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Randomize
