Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
