I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
