Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
