i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
