Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
