Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
