no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
we should paint friendship bongs
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
