Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
