I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
