theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
