I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
