It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
