So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
im holly from the hills drunk
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
