The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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