Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
A bitchslap is in order.
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