I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
