There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
