i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
