His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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