Nicole vs. Life
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
