i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
