I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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