the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
