he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
