No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
