She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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