People in love make me want to vomit
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
