I'm gonna have a badass scar
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
